Fast & Furriest: Winnie Wins Bronze

Harrington Fall Fest brought the usual: food, friends, laughter, and enough pumpkin spice to put a scarecrow into a sugar coma. But this year also brought something new—your local newspaper mascot and part-time diva, Winnie the weiner dog, scored her first athletic medal. Bronze, baby.

The 5K Fun Run kicked off at 9 a.m., and while I was still shaking off Deutschesfest laryngitis, Winnie was in prime form. The crowd was packed, and while I was just another runner pinning on a bib, Winnie was the celebrity. “Winnie’s mom!” people kept calling. 

During warmups, Winnie spotted a German shepherd and a poodle mix and immediately cussed them out in dachshund. We don’t call it barking in our house — this girl has a mouth on her. But once the starting whistle blew, she was all business.

Mile one: steady 10:15 pace, straight uphill. Mile two: slowed to the 12s after a water break, tongue flopping sideways like a busted car flag. But she kept grinding through the golf course hills and onto her favorite neighborhood loop. By mile three, she saw the finish line and flipped into turbo mode. I yelled, “Run, run, run!” and suddenly we were sprinting like Olympians.

Final time: 35:05. Not bad for a girl with lingering laryngitis and a dog with legs the length of bratwursts — maybe mini bratwursts. Marines may do three miles in 30 minutes, but find me one who does it with a dachshund setting the pace. I’ll wait.

We celebrated with coffee (me) and a pup cup (her). 

Winnie strutted out of The Post & Office with whipped cream on her nose and the swagger of a champion. 

Later, I found her at home snoozing in the sun — medal earned, ego inflated.

The kicker? We’d actually placed 3rd in our age group. Missed the ceremony entirely. Now Harrington has a new Fall Fest legend: Winnie the Weiner, bronze medalist and sidewalk superstar.

Here’s to next year — where we’ll be aiming for silver.