Weekend Whiff: Hurry Up and Wait (Again)

You know what’s scarier than Halloween on a Friday night? Having National Guard duty the day after. While everyone else was sleeping off sugar comas or regrettable costume choices, I was living the true soldier’s nightmare: clerical work.

Yes, the “hurry up and wait” game was in full swing — times ten. Thrilling? Not even close. My highlight was probably refilling my pen ink.

But before duty called, Halloween itself went off without a hitch. It was my first one in my own house, which made it feel extra cozy (and slightly chaotic). I made my mom’s classic Midwest chili and cornbread, carved a pumpkin modeled after my dog Winnie — who, for the record, was a hot dog this year — and watched way too much HBO Max.

Was Winnie thrilled about her costume? Absolutely not. She’s been in heat all week and her enthusiasm has flatlined. The weenie must rest.

As for candy? I went full rookie homeowner and bought enough for a small army — which, ironically, I already belong to. Fifteen trick-or-treaters later, I was tossing out candy by the handful just to make a dent.

Still, for my first Halloween solo, it was perfect: cozy, quiet, and sugar-filled. The only real fright came the next morning when my alarm went off for drill.